Bad Things Happen To Good People

Last week, after summer break, I finally met once again with a couple that I’ve been friends with for many years. And I can wholeheartedly say, these two are one of the most wonderful, warm-hearted, grounded, insightful and kind people that I have met in my entire life. They are truly good and positive people. 

Yet, they had been met with three devastating events within six weeks. First, the husband had been mowed over by a car whilst riding a bike. He had a helmet, all the required lights, drove in the right lane – and yet, hewas hit by a car, flew threw the air and only has minor injuries because of his karate training that had taught him how to correctly fall for as little damage as possible. Otherwise, he would be seriously injured or maybe even dead. 

Then, after his recovery, they went on vacation in Croatia to the hometown of the wife. Right there, in their little village was the start of the devastating fire that destroyed more than 10km of forests, villages, wildlife and infrastructure this summer. They escaped the inferno because they were so close to the initial fire that they immediately packed their things, rushed out and were able to drive away before the streets got crowded. But they had to watch helplessly how the chaos unfolded and how the fire swallowed an entire community – and also economy based on tourism that had been building over the past roughly forty years and basically became the Croatian Riviera.

Then, they drove back home from Croatia, for about 10 to 12 hours. Arrived at home at about 10pm – just to find that burglars had ransacked the house. The neighbour that they had trusted with a key to regularly empty the mailbox and to have an eye on things had not once looked after the house. So, the police was called, they had to sleep in a hotel that first night and their kid still has nightmares from both the fire and the burglars. 

Let me remind you: These are the kindest and most positive people I know. Yet, it happened to them. 

And, if we follow the modern spiritual gurus, they tell you that you just need to think good thoughts and stay positive and vibrate on your highest frequency and everything will be lovey-dovey. And, yes, to a certain degree, this is true. We meet in life what we are a match to energetically. Yet, other people are unpredictable, circumstances are unpredictable – life is unpredictable. So, no – life doesn’t work this way. You cannot think and feel yourself out of bad things happening to you. 

Life truly is a classroom – for our soul and our growth. There will come obstacles, hardships and things that suck so very much. Because this is life and this is its job.

Our positivity, our frequency, our energy – they are all valid and do create our reality. Because, as much as bad things out of nowhere suck, those things that come out of nowhere that are truly just serendipitous blessings happen as well. You cannot have one without the other. We are always going to be nudged towards a more rounded expression of ourselves, to be more integrated with what the human existence actually is. And there will be things that are simply awful, that you have no explanation for, and that truly suck – both objectively and subjectively.

Life is not plannable, it is not this linear cause-and-effect scenario that is easy to navigate because you quickly see what actions turn into what outcome. If that was the case, humans would not have tried to destroy their very livelihood for almost 100 years. Effects accumulate, get delayed and might come slowly. 

My friend actually truly has implemented a new view on how to see the things happening to him – and tried to see what the lessons are in those three catastrophic events, what this was trying to tell and teach him. One of the lessons truly was for him to not neglect himself in favour of others. Because, truly, he was the kind of man that would have empathy for the driver that mowed him over, thinking about how the accident must have impacted him. He always was the one thinking about his neighbours first, trying to make life together friendly and enjoyable, trusting them. When they battled the fire and tried to warn and rescue others, he quickly realised how little people cared about each other. He got disillusioned to a certain degree. And that is a good thing in a way. Let me tell you why.

Yes, I totally believe that we need community, need to be there for each other and think about the others and their well-being. But, in our capitalist society, many of us have unlearned the art of community, of truly being there and caring for each other. So, if you are one of those, don’t stop – but stop putting a non-existent community above yourself. A community is based on mutual respect and mutual aid, it is based in a common understanding of what is important and what is right. If this is not there, it is not a community, but a patriarchal society, where everybody wants to win and the strongest  or most corrupt makes the rules for everybody disregarding the well-being of most, especially those most valuable. Maybe, the bigger lesson here is that you need to create or find a community that truly lives those values, and not exert your energy, time, money, and effort into a non-responding entity. 

And, if we widen the view even a bit more, we might be able to see the even bigger picture. Wildfires, not only in Croatia, but all over the world, are closely tied to what is happening to our planet, to our climate and the living conditions we have created over the past 100 years. No matter how aligned you are and how positively you vibe – you cannot escape the reality of what has been done and how it affects our living conditions. Being positive within this means to take action, to contribute and to create your community of like-minded people that wants to actively change this. Spirituality without action is actually just daydreaming. You must become involved, you must be willing to create the community that aligns with the well-being of you and everybody else – the poor, the helpless, the children, the animals, even nature. So, to me, true spirituality is always tied to making change for the better happen. Now. Not in a spiritual realm.

So, yes, bad things happen to good people – because life happens. The lesson is to listen to what it’s telling you, what it might help you to unveil, what it might help you uncover. And even if it does not do it in this very moment – it might be a tiny sliver that establishes something bigger that eventually might lead to a decision or mindset or life that is more aligned with who you truly are and contribute positively to the world and life around you. Thus, you can still move on with the same positivity and energy and love for life and the world – and face it with grace and a smile. Despite bad things happening to you. They are all pointers in the big scheme of life to teach you what is happening in the world and how you might be able to contribute. As I like to point out – Douglas Fairbanks’ wonderful book and motto: Live and laugh is still the best and concise life advice. Life happens, so just live it, be excited about it, face the obstacles, love the lucky coincidences, learn some lessons, become who you have always meant to be and create a legacy that you will be proud of because of who you were able to become in the process and contribute to life and mankind.